a dozen times since becoming a Mama, but I am just now admitting it)
I am THAT Mama who is sad at the thought of her child getting older.
I always made fun of people who were sad because their child first rolled over,
took their first steps, or had a birthday. I am THAT Mama! (Admitting it is the first step, right?!) Coleman is turning 1 on Monday. I am happy. I am sad. I am slightly embarrased that I want to cry about his 1st Birthday. Aren't you supposed to be thrilled at these milestones? Well, yes and no for me...I am thrilled to have a healthy happy boy. However, all I can think is...soon he will be going to College and then getting married! ("HE IS ONE, CASEY" is what I keep telling myself.
I think what I am truly learning is that I want to "white knuckle" everything in life...I want to be in control! God is so gracious to show me how I claim things to be MINE, MINE, MINE all the while knowing (and being thankful) that they are HIS, HIS, HIS.
This little boy will be 1 on Monday and I am THAT Mama.
Praise be to God that He does not leave us where we are...
Now, I am off to make a Valentines Cake for my sweet boys! No, it is not from scratch like my Mama, mother-in-law, Lindsay Newlin, Sarah Barry Spooner or Nell Womack would make...that sucker is straight from the Box! Thank you Duncan Hines.
I didn't expect to be "that mother" either, but it ALWAYS feels like Iris is growing faster than I'm ready for her.
ReplyDeleteEmily
I very much identify with this. The day Drue was born I thought, I am going to bawl on her first birthday. Happy Birthday, Little C!
ReplyDeleteof course this made me cry! happy (almost) birthday, coleman! and, I totally ordered his cake from publix. :)
ReplyDeleteWatching them grow is so bittersweet... I can't believe he's 1! And - there's nothing wrong with cake from a box!
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA. Casey you are hilarious. I'm one of THOSE mamas too. I wish I could bottle Stephen up in his newborn/infancy state forever!!! I know that would get weird but I can't help that's the way I feel.
ReplyDeleteHappy B-day Colman! He is so CUTE!